Social Anxiety

The problem of social anxiety is caused by a significant difference between how you think you are and how you perceive others think you should be.

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Coping with social isolation during Covid-19

There can be no question that we are facing something almost none of us have ever faced before—a sudden and dramatic change from the way we are used to living our normal lives. I am not saying this to alarm you. I am saying this so you remember that whatever you might be feeling right…

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Introspection Part 12, Ideals for self-discovery

Some time ago, before writing the last couple of Blog posts on introspection, I had decided that there would be exactly twelve posts in this series. Twelve is such a nice, complete number. There are twelve months in a year. In the Bible, there are the twelve tribes of Israel and Twelve Apostles (okay, now…

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Introspection Part 11, Ambivalence and balance

Do I contradict myself? Very well then I contradict myself; (I am large, I contain multitudes.) Walt Whitman, Song of Myself, Leaves of Grass   Having the capacity to hold and experience two opposing or contradictory feelings, thoughts and desires at the same time is human, very human. It is both a blessing and a…

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Introspection Part 10, Avoiding Narcissism

Having spent the last several months writing about “going inside yourself” (introspection), it occurs to me that I should take a breather and answer the question, “is there such a thing as too much introspection?” I want to say “no” because introspection is so much a part of my life as a therapist and a…

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Introspection Part 9, Being interesting

In the last blog post, I described the difference between existence (you as you are right now) and being (you in the process of becoming what you want to be).  Being is preferable.  Being means frequently asking yourself where you are headed in your life, your head, your values and morality.  Being isn’t just about goals, although…

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Introspection Part 8, Self-awareness and being

  “Skynet… becomes self-aware at 2:14 a.m. Eastern time, August 29th.” From the Movie, Terminator II, 1991   I was on a bus at the age of 14, headed toward work. I was looking down at my hands. I was probably bored, and maybe high on something. I started to move my fingers, watching my…

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Introspection Part 7, Intersubjectivity

There’s this scene in the movie The Elephant Man that was transformative for me.  I saw the movie in my late teens.  In the movie, the main guy has a disease which disfigures his whole body, including his face.  In this particular scene, he is running from reporters.  I think he’s in a hospital.  At…

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